Hey Jealousy

okay, so. ive hit writer's block on my own blogging website writing about my emotions. terrific.
ill give you a run down of the entire story.
my best friend used to like this guy, and she would talk about what they did in class or anything to do with him, but then she met someone and got a boyfriend and then i started to see how nice a guy he was, and she told me, "yeah, you can have him", so.. not selfishly, but curiously, and somewhere inbetween getting to know him, i fell for him. so hard, its still hurting everytime i talk to him, hug him and do anything with him (not in any sexual way).

the worst thing is this. until recently, i thought she was over hiim, into another guy after she broke up with her boyfriend. no. thats no how it went down at all. she wanted "fair game". fair game you ask? its when i practically have to "hand him back over" to her and forget i felt anything for him.
SHE DOES THIS WITH ANY GUY. i don't understand. this all may sound childish and stupid, but what the hell.  shes making me feel like crap, because she expects me to just "swith off" all my feelings for him, and the agonising thing is that i cant even tell her how i feel otherwise shell just take it the wrong way, make me look like the antagonistic bitch who's just jealous.
jealous? it makes me want to cry everytime she mentions his name now, or that she practically makes it competition.

im always the third wheel. im always the single one in our friendship. weve known each other for 4 years now, her and i, and she cant even see that she hurts me everytime she goes for a guy, because she either ends up hurting herself and i have to help her, or she makes me feel like its my turn to "get someone" purely because i look like a dweebus without a boyfriend.
                  thanks so much best friend, you really did it this time.